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Friggin City - Chpt. 7

Today's adventure beings in high school. Diddy was an overly social little butterfly. Never really understood the reason for school, except for the need to congregate in the parking lot before, during and after school. In her many day's of chill'in live a vill'in, she met some wonderful people who still today she values as great friends and today's story involves one of them that goes by the name Bamber.

One of her favorite classes that she had was being the T.A. in Greenhouse with Mr. L. She got to make copies, run errands and basically just sit on the counter and B.S. the entire hour, a dream come true. In the class was one of her cohort’s, Bamber. Diddy and Bamber had a history of being a menace to south central and this was the most colossal event to date. 

To begin the story off right, I have to go in depth about one of Mr. L's responsibilities. He was in charge of making copies for the school and had access to all sorts of wonderful things, assignments and things of that nature, but also he made copies of citizenship reward coupons. I can't off the top of my noggin remember what they were exactly called, but basically, when you got good citizenship you received coupons for various places in Friggin City where you could get discounts or free items, such as a FREE BIG GULP at 7-11. Diddy never did receive one of these reward packets. Surprised? Didn't think so.

For some odd reason Bamber had the brilliant idea to make copies, of said coupons and as Diddy watched, she was totally baffled why she would lay them out on a page like that, just kind of here and there, no rhyme or reason behind it. The way Diddy envisioned it in her head and shortly demonstrated, was that if you cut them out just right and laid them on a page, then taped them, you could get more on the page and it would make it easier to cut out and distribute, you know, more bang for your buck.  So Diddy proceeded to show her exactly how a real counterfeiter would do it. 

Now I won't get into exact numbers, because that is between her and the copy machine, but there was a plethora of coupons. Diddy and Bamber proudly distributed their masterpieces to the students who were so lucky to be involved, but never named and proceeded on their day as though nothing but pure genius had just happened. Well that's where they went wrong. Assuming that no one was the wiser, but Diddy, forgetful at times, left the master copy on the machine. Yup, shit had just hit the fan.

While Diddy was sitting in Physics class, I believe with Mr. C, the devil with no hair.. We will call him Mr. M.. Proceeded in to the classroom and Diddy knew the jig was up, busted with a capital B. As Mr. M took Diddy to a secluded classroom where her mother, Dirty D, was seated, oh yes, the wire hanger had been found in the closet and she was toast. Mr. M went over the copies they found, asked who, what, when, where, why and how many. Diddy just sank deeper and deeper into pure embarrassment and hell, like when you put Gak in your hand and it oozes through your fingers.

Dirty D was mortified, she couldn't believe that her daughter would do something that awful. She explained how illegal it was and that she was very disappointed in Diddy.  If you are anything like a normal child, having your parents tell you they are disappointed in you, is worse that a beating with a salted, lemon soaked willow branch.. I put some thought in to that one, oh yes I did.. Sounds painful, huh.. Dirty D mentioned that Diddy should have to pay for every single coupon at face value. Do you realize the amount that would be?! Let me explain, if you take Z (amount of coupons) x .89 (cost) that equals ..Didn't know I knew math, did ya? .. A BUTT LOAD OF FLO, YO!  Diddy was angry that her mother would suggest such a horrific idea and she told her mother that too.

After all was said and done, Diddy and Bamber were sent to the gallows and forced to do 30 hours of janitorial work. They scrubbed desks, toilets, bathroom stalls, lockers, you name it they scrubbed it. They were informed that if they didn't complete their sentence, they wouldn't graduate. So after school they put on their black and white stripped jumpsuits and carried out their punishment. 

You will be glad to know that they did graduate..barely.

So the moral of the story here.. Never leave the master copy on the copy machine. What, you thought I would say, "Don't be like the Fratelli's and make Data think he found fifty dowah bihwls!" Nope, just be smart, don't get caught.