Slip, Slidin Away

Growing up a Katie-did - Chpt. 8

Did you know that 90% of people have an inny belly button, yup, true fact. Something to think about there yo. Now that I got that off my chest.. Growing up Katie has some of the funnest neighbors EV-RRR.. For a short time the Bergeson's that lived in the yellow house, but they moved away after my sister gave her a roll of lifesavers.. Jessica had that way about her.. The Checketts moved in shortly after that and they had two kids, Elisha and Cameron aka Cam and Leasha. These two kids were the perfect match for us. Just damn nuts. We were like 6 peas in a pod.. that fell out of some alien ship.. Well more like dropped out of one, on to our heads as the aliens screamed as it flew away, KEEP EM!

Katie and Leash use to all sort of fun crap together. They would get all the glass bowls out, fill them with water and bubbles and give their Barbie's a hot tub, when they were 16. Seriously.. 16. They watch Days of Our Lives while playing with pop tops and then sticking them to our face.. But Leash remembered to take hers off. Katie.. was not so lucky, she had a big ol' purple hicky in the middle of her 4-head for quite a while and one on her upper lip from sucking on a film tube, not knowing it would leave a Hitler stash, rocked that shit for over a week. They would tape their faces up and pull their eyes, noses, lips in all sorts of directions and wander around. Sliding down the stairs in sleeping bags, on cookie sheets, in laundry baskets. Shit, they had a riot!

Probably one of the most epic things they did was jump on the tramp with the sprinklers on.  Cam was the oldest and for some reason we could talk him into pretty much anything. This was one of the most fantastic times.

Leash and Katie  liked to walk to Sev  (7-11) and get a Big Gulp and a weenie.. Now, come on, really? Get your mind outa the gutter! That story comes later.. BAH! Sorry.. Totally laughed out loud..lol  meow.  As their minds wandered about what non-sense they could get themselves into this fine Summer day, they came up with the idea of soaping up a certain big brotha and spraying him down and making him a slide. And wouldn't ya know it.. Sev sold Ivory dish soap. They grabbed a bottle and ran home, told Cam about their brilliant idea and he was on board! SUE-WHEAT! Outside they ran, covered his back and belly with soap, sprayed him down like a sexy car wash girl as he rubbed it in. He would get on his hands and knees and make a slide out of himself and one after the other we would slide down his back. WWEEEEEEEE! It was so stinking fun! If we could have marketed the Camslide we would have. Poor bastard.. I do believe that was the year the Checketts lawn died. Wasn't me!

So what's the lesson in this story? Shit, I ain't got one yo. Maybe to not be afraid the be a sexy car wash bitch. Own that shit! MAYBE, someday someone will soap you up and slip and slide down you!

Yip-EE-Ky-Ay Hit it and quit it! Word

Friggin City - Chpt. 7

Today's adventure beings in high school. Diddy was an overly social little butterfly. Never really understood the reason for school, except for the need to congregate in the parking lot before, during and after school. In her many day's of chill'in live a vill'in, she met some wonderful people who still today she values as great friends and today's story involves one of them that goes by the name Bamber.

One of her favorite classes that she had was being the T.A. in Greenhouse with Mr. L. She got to make copies, run errands and basically just sit on the counter and B.S. the entire hour, a dream come true. In the class was one of her cohort’s, Bamber. Diddy and Bamber had a history of being a menace to south central and this was the most colossal event to date. 

To begin the story off right, I have to go in depth about one of Mr. L's responsibilities. He was in charge of making copies for the school and had access to all sorts of wonderful things, assignments and things of that nature, but also he made copies of citizenship reward coupons. I can't off the top of my noggin remember what they were exactly called, but basically, when you got good citizenship you received coupons for various places in Friggin City where you could get discounts or free items, such as a FREE BIG GULP at 7-11. Diddy never did receive one of these reward packets. Surprised? Didn't think so.

For some odd reason Bamber had the brilliant idea to make copies, of said coupons and as Diddy watched, she was totally baffled why she would lay them out on a page like that, just kind of here and there, no rhyme or reason behind it. The way Diddy envisioned it in her head and shortly demonstrated, was that if you cut them out just right and laid them on a page, then taped them, you could get more on the page and it would make it easier to cut out and distribute, you know, more bang for your buck.  So Diddy proceeded to show her exactly how a real counterfeiter would do it. 

Now I won't get into exact numbers, because that is between her and the copy machine, but there was a plethora of coupons. Diddy and Bamber proudly distributed their masterpieces to the students who were so lucky to be involved, but never named and proceeded on their day as though nothing but pure genius had just happened. Well that's where they went wrong. Assuming that no one was the wiser, but Diddy, forgetful at times, left the master copy on the machine. Yup, shit had just hit the fan.

While Diddy was sitting in Physics class, I believe with Mr. C, the devil with no hair.. We will call him Mr. M.. Proceeded in to the classroom and Diddy knew the jig was up, busted with a capital B. As Mr. M took Diddy to a secluded classroom where her mother, Dirty D, was seated, oh yes, the wire hanger had been found in the closet and she was toast. Mr. M went over the copies they found, asked who, what, when, where, why and how many. Diddy just sank deeper and deeper into pure embarrassment and hell, like when you put Gak in your hand and it oozes through your fingers.

Dirty D was mortified, she couldn't believe that her daughter would do something that awful. She explained how illegal it was and that she was very disappointed in Diddy.  If you are anything like a normal child, having your parents tell you they are disappointed in you, is worse that a beating with a salted, lemon soaked willow branch.. I put some thought in to that one, oh yes I did.. Sounds painful, huh.. Dirty D mentioned that Diddy should have to pay for every single coupon at face value. Do you realize the amount that would be?! Let me explain, if you take Z (amount of coupons) x .89 (cost) that equals ..Didn't know I knew math, did ya? .. A BUTT LOAD OF FLO, YO!  Diddy was angry that her mother would suggest such a horrific idea and she told her mother that too.

After all was said and done, Diddy and Bamber were sent to the gallows and forced to do 30 hours of janitorial work. They scrubbed desks, toilets, bathroom stalls, lockers, you name it they scrubbed it. They were informed that if they didn't complete their sentence, they wouldn't graduate. So after school they put on their black and white stripped jumpsuits and carried out their punishment. 

You will be glad to know that they did graduate..barely.

So the moral of the story here.. Never leave the master copy on the copy machine. What, you thought I would say, "Don't be like the Fratelli's and make Data think he found fifty dowah bihwls!" Nope, just be smart, don't get caught.

Friggin City - Chpt. 6

It was just another ordinary Friday in Figgin City. Diddy's kids were off playing farmer with their dad and she had nothing to do. As a single mom Diddy has a few jobs. What kind of jobs you ask. Well she sells things. What kind of things? Why are you asking so many questions? Diddy likes to sell anything and everything. Except that one thing. Thought about it once. But the corner of 25th and Wall scares her.

It's Friday night, with nothing to do.. again and so she was off to go clean her fasha's office. Which is also one of her jobs. Shortly after she was cleaning she got a text from her friend. She said she had been studying all day and needed a break and asked where Diddy was. She replied that she was in Friggin City and would stop by after she was done. 

A few hours past and Diddy was finally done. She got changed out of her grubbbies and headed down the road. Diddy's tummy was a rumblin so she decided that Taco Hell sounded delightful this fine summer evening. She called over to the Ladybug's house and asked the Mrs. if she wanted some dinner. She said no, but the Dr. and his nurse were over and the Dr. wanted a steak grilled taco with NO SOUR CREAM.. Remember that last part .. NO.. SOUR... CREAM...

Diddy said, Coo.. See ya in a flash. She pull up to the drive through at Taco Hell / Krap Fried Critters. Now Friggin City only has a few choice places to eat. you have Taco Hell ( tonight's choice), The Golden Arches of Fun ( Diddy worked there back in the day and it was really fun, seriously), Betyo's (bet you can't guess the meat), Pee Schitty ( one of Diddy's faves)  and those are the ones with the wonderfully convenient drive thru. She pull up and they gives her schpeel and she says no, I don't want the macho nacho and crispy critter box, but thanks. She continues to order a steak kay-sah-dill-ah, steak grilled taco with NO SOUR CREAM, a nacho supreme and two burrito, cause she new that Mrs. Ladybug would eat if she got it.

She got though the drive thru, 10 minutes later and  after sitting patiently, he hands her a sack and says have a nice day. Diddy thanked the 16 year old twerp and pull away. Diddy thought, ***Hmmm, this sack feels mighty light. BTW, Do you see those stars, those are the bubbles up to the thought cloud.. she gets those allot. Gets what? Wicked good thoughts, Sheesh, catch up Jr.

SO, she looked inside and what could possibly be the problem? Taco Hell forgot half the order. Diddy pulled in the parking stall and went inside to see where her other sack was. As she walked in she was horrified with what she saw. The place was crawling with snot nosed, 16 year old, pimple popping know it alls, that needed to be taken out back and severely beaten. But that is besides the point. That too will come in time.

She carefully ventured in, notified them that she needed the rest of her order and of course, they had no idea what she was talking about. She said, "For the love of Pete and Mary, I just pulled out of your drive thru, 20 seconds ago. I need my steak taco and the burritos." The long haired pimple fart went and told the BEAST that the order was missing and to make it again.

The Beast? Yes, the Beast.. Let me explain. Sit back and imagine a hormonal, 98 pound, bleached blonde, always right never wrong, wanna be punk but is stuck in shithead mode, spoiled, little 16 year old girl. Oh wait, what's that you say? What was Diddy like at 16. Diddy was, uh.. super dope yo! She was a social butterfly and loved to make people laugh. sometimes pushed the envelope with people just enough to stand out, but not enough to get caught more than ONCE. She wasn't mean, unless it was called for and I can tell you this.. She never screwed up your order on purpose when she worked at The Golden Arches of Fun. and THAT place is a story all on it's own, but that will come in time as well.

So, the pimple fart went to tell the beast that she needed to remake the tacos. The Beast proceeded to recreate the wonder we call a taco and as she placed them up under the.. WHA?! Double take! No warmer..Nope.. you would think they would have one cause it takes so freaking long to get your food, something needs to keep it slightly warm, but as she places the tacos on the lunch room tray, she smashes them. Not once, but twice. Two good slaps. Diddy decided that she would check the tacos cause the Dr. said NO SOUR CREAM and Diddy is all about getting it done right, the 1st time. Well, guess what. It had sour cream and ground mystery meat, not the steak she had requested. Really?! REALLY!? Is it THAT hard. I think not. So, she pointed out there mistake and asked so very politely, can you remake this it has sour cream on it and it was suppose to be steak. The pimple fart went back and said, hey, that was NOT suppose to have sour cream, I told you that a few times and you still put it on there. The Beast threw a little tizzy fit and as she went to make a new one she threw the food on the tort-till-ah. Not kidding She literally threw the ingredients, like you would throw a water balloon onto the floor. Diddy watched as she tossed the lettuce,  hucked the tomatoes and alli-ooped meat shaped pieces onto the tor-till-ah. then she rolled it and slightly grilled it. Diddy was obviously very irritated at this point.

Diddy then asked to talk to the manager and informed the kid of the sich-y-ay-shun. Kid? Yeah, couldn't have been more than 18. Diddy told him that she just paid $20 for that crap that had been left out, made wrong and smashed and now thrown. If she comes back in and that little twerp is working, she will make sure that the Beast knows what's what.

Diddy FINALLY got to the Ladybug's house and walked in and gave them the schpeel. Now here is where it get fun. The Nachos had cheese on 3 chips, a piece of meat that looked like cat poop that you find in a sandbox and a glob of sour cream right in the middle. So basically 80% of the chips had nothing on them. Strike 1. She handed out the tacos to their designated owners and the Dr. took a bit and YEP! Sour cream on all the tacos.. BTW, found one of the missing tacos in the bottom of the bag. so there were 3 wrong tacos. one that should have been steak no sour cream. It was horse meat WITH sour cream. Then once with steak and sour cream and Gwawk-a-mole-ee. Strike 2. Strike 3... just the fact that Diddy had to call. 5 times until the call would go through. The line was crazy busy because more people were in there with problems than a Saturday free sample day at Cast-CO.

She called and informed them that she wanted her money back and that he needs to really have a serious comin to Jesus meetin with the Beast. You do remember what that is right.. Where you and me have a serious chat and if all doesn't go my way, you MIGHT be seeing Jesus tonight. The manager, who was really nice, said maybe she needs to find a new job. Diddy smiled and said She agreed. Winning. WON! Done son!

So that is her story about Taco Hell. And for all she cares Taco Hell.. can go to.. H. E. DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS. Unfortunately, I'm sure, she will be eating there again. She loves her some Kay-sah-dill-ahs.

Friggin City - Chpt.5

Diddy like to believe that she was a great driver. In 10th grade she took drivers ed and her teacher was Mr. Drunkstead. He was a little creepy. Almost pervert looking. I think he was drunk most of the time to be honest with you. She would have to drive one of the junky old cars, tune her radio to the proper channel and drive around and try to avoid the cones. It didn't matter if she hit them or not. Mr. Drunkstead always thought it was Diddy's fault. She would be cruisin along, mindin her bidness and all the sudden she would hear, "SPAZEN!" Thanks Diddy's last name. She is kind of a spaz. It fits.

Well she passed her written test with no problems, but it was the driving test she has issues with. I would like to point out that she is left handed and that is her excuse for most her problems. You throw like a two year old! comment back, "Oh yeah, well I'm left handed." You can't dance! replying, "Suck it! I am left handed."

As she was driving around Friggin City, she was suppose to turn here, park there, signal, lane change. You know the drill. Well, when Mr. Drunkstead was in the passenger seat Diddy would get a really attitude. Not sure if it was cause she got a contact drunk from him or if it was because he was a complete douche canoe. Anyhow, It was time for her road test. They pull up to the red light on the corner of Forest and Main and she is signaling to turn right. She stops looks both ways and waits for the green. He tells her you can turn right on a red light. So the next light on 1st south, it's red, she turns right, no stopping. After all that what he told her. FAIL #1.

Next test. She is driving down 3rd west, I believe it is the one with very few stop signs. Well she is all bad ass and cruisin in the gimp mobile and runs a stop sign. FAIL#2

#3 was the kicker, if she didn't pass this, she would be S.W.N.L. which means sixteen with no license and that my friend is how do you say it, SHIT - TAY!  So she turns correctly, signals properly, lane change like a pro. The challenge, if she chose to accept it was, DUH NUH NUH! Parallel park in front of Lert's Cafe. 

She was so sick and tired of the drunk man, she got angry, pulled up, popped that sucker into reverse and BAM!  Stop. What are you thinking right now? Are you thinking holy crap. Diddy nailed a car? You are, aren't you. NOPE! She nailed the parking spot, slipped right in like the knife that Dexter sticks right in your heart while you are wrapped up in saran wrap looking at all the people who have harmed. Well, you get the point.

She passed that test, finally on the 3rd try. She was legal. Her parent gave her the Ford Tarus wagon. It had a cool code on the door to unlock it. 7-6-9-6-9. Maroon and could fit a ton of people. Her friend, Raspusha drove a station wagon as well. It was one of those bitch'n long yellow ones with the wood panels. Wicked awesome. They parked up in the east parking lot. Everyone had their own spots up there. It was a great group of peeps and super duper fun.

Well there was these two boys in particular that Diddy had no liking for. They were always very shitty to her and one day after razzing her all day, she decided that was it. Those bitches are going down. So she throws that ford Taurus wagon into reverse and proceeds to back up to get a better run at these to guys. She didn't look behind her, which is where she get into a bit of a "incident." 

As Diddy was backing up she hear this THUD! So, she stopped. Got out and went.. you guessed it, OH SHIT! She hit a girl. Not a car, dog or a leprechaun. It was an actual person, walking. She knew she was in a whole heap of crap. The girl looked at her and Diddy looked back as the strange, disoriented girl wandered through the parking lot. Diddy stood there and assumed that she was fine. As I always say, "Assume make an ASS outta U and ME." Well she wasn't ok, she came back down to the car, holding her head where she got hit and said she has just one question. "Was that on purpose?" Diddy looked at her and with an unusually odd smirk and replied, "Oh honey, if it was on purpose I wouldn't have stopped. I don't even know who you are." The girl then said ok and walked back up.

Needless to say, Diddy never tried to intentionally hit someone with a car again. Although she did, later in life. But he was in the way.

Stay tuned for Chpt. 6

Friggin City - Chpt. 4

A journey is defined as: a mission that could take a long ass time. If your checking the Urban Dictionary that is. Today's 'journey" takes place .. OK, it's not a journey. I just really liked the definition.

Today's troubles started when Diddy was in 7th grade. She had become more aware of the way she looked. Making sure her hair is just so, make up and her new hobby, plucking those Caterpillar eyebrows. Diddy use to love to watch her sister get ready in the morning. Messica was one of the "cool kids" at school. She always had perfect hair, clothes that were stylin and the cutest boys around her.So Diddy started paying attention to how she was doing it and followed closely behind. She worshiped that girl. Think she still does. AWE, tender monent, wipe the tear, *sniff*sniff*..

Diddy was in the kitchen cleaning up and doing the dishes. Her mother, Dirty D, had made scones the night before so there was a pot of grease on the stove top. Diddy turned that on to melt it so she could pour it back into the original container and throw it away. It never occurred to Diddy to just scoop the solid grease out and throw that way.

She was more of , how do I out this, Mad Scientist that new nothing. I suppose. She and her brother's use to take all the spices out of the cupboard, the soy sauce, mustard, pickle juice and basically whatever they could get their hands on, mix it all together to see what disgusting concoction they could come up with. Now that Diddy is older, she realizes the cost that goes behind spices and such and once again, would like to send out a sincere apology to her mother for the amount of money she wasted.

Back to the story. Diddy turned the stove on and proceeded to melt the grease. She didn't think to look to see what temperature it was set at and later found out why you don't melt grease on high, but that was just the 1st mistake. She finished cleaning and went into her mom's bathroom, climbed up on the the counter and started plucking her eyebrows. That was her 2nd mistake. After about 5-10 minutes Diddy started to smell something strange. Then all of the sudden she hears this horrific PLOP! She looked away from the mirror and almost in slow motion like on The Christmas Story she though SSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIITTT! Not fudge, she didn't say fudge. but she does like walnut fudge that her Auntie makes. BTW

She jumped off the counter and ran to the kitchen. The grease was a blazing! She paniced and started screaming for her Mom. All the while thinking, Holy shit, my ass is grass.. I am DONE SON! Out like the red headed step child. Aborted at age 13. Her Mom came hauling butt up the stair and freaked. Now, if you knew Diddy's mother she is very sweet, very proper. But when Diddy's Mom got mad, HELL HATH NO FURY like Dirty D. But we totally deserved some of the wrath we got. I mean really, she burned down the NEWLY remodeled kitchen.

Dirty D grabbed a lid and put the fire out. Diddy stared in awe at the charred wood work above the stove, the melted light covers and knew that I was out of luck on this one. No superman could save Loise Lane from this pickle. Oddly enough Dirty D said only a few words to Diddy. And they are as follows:

                                             "YOU RUINED MY PAN!"

She though, are you serious?! I just lit your kitchen on fire and you are mad about the pan? Wow, Diddy was expecting to be sent out to live in the dog house or something worse. Having to pack my things and go live at the neighbor's house. *Shivers* Now that would have been a hell that no child would have ever wished on anyone else.

But, all ended better than Diddy had thought, I don't know how long she was grounded for, but I know it was a coon's age. Which according the the Urban Dictionary is roughly 8 1/2 years.

So that's the story of  Grease Lighting.

Stay Tuned for Chpt. 5

Friggin City - Chpt. 3

Today, We start off Diddy's adventures in 6th grade. Diddy had the weirdest teacher ever, not sure if it was because it was his 1st year teaching or if it was just because he was a complete doofus.  But, all around, he was odd. He use to stick his pencil in his ear, then to his nose and then to his mouth. HONEST! Ask Diddy's brother, Grodey.

She loved to chase the boys at school, throw wet toilet paper at the ceiling, serve school lunch, Chinese jump rope, play on the tire swing, slam a little tether ball, run down the boys laboratory. Now, that last one was a big no no.  Us Wincoln Wions were quite the boundary testers.

In 6th grade you change and become more aware of the boys around you. Diddy had the crushes on most the boys in school, but decided she would go steady with a kid we will call Len.

Len and Diddy would walk home from school every day. They would talk and throw rocks, just stupid kid stuff. They never held hand or anything, I mean really she was too young. She was raised in a box, as you will find out down the road.

Towards the end of the school year, they held the maturation program. Diddy was very nervous. Neither her Mom or Dad could attend, so she went by herself. And let me tell you, just like the time she watched The FLY at her Aunties and found out where babies really come out of, her eyes went extra-ordinarily big and she was in complete shock. Panic seemed to set in as she slouched down in her chair. She looked around the room and made sure no one was watching her, she hated getting embarrassed. Diddy wasn't ready for this odd change. Bigger boobies, pimples, body odor, body hair and shaving... and the worst of all.. Mother Nature, REDRUM, riding the cotton pony, TOM (time of month) or AUNT FLO.

Why in the world, for the love of Pete and Mary, would anyone think that having a period was a good thing.  She is a woman now, she can have babies, all the while Diddy was thinking..WHO CARES, I am only 11.

Shortly, after that horrific and uncomfortable ordeal, Diddy was walking home with Len. They had only made it to the corner and the 1st words out of his mouth were as follow, "I have a penis and you have a vagina!" Diddy was so embarrassed. How could he possibly know that is what it was called or that she had one. She had no idea until today that their parts weren't called private parts or their potty. She ran home crying from humiliation. She never talked to Len again. Honestly, never. Until about two weeks ago when she saw him in Wally World. She, however, did tell someone the story of this dreadful day and they told Len a few months ago and I think he understand that Diddy, didn't hate him. She just meant what she said, She was never going to speak to him again. But, time goes on, and friends in grade school don't end being your friends in Jr. High and High School. That is probably more the reason.

A few months later she started her monthly visits from Aunt Flo. They were worse than she could have ever imagined. Cramping, achy, chills, throwing up, headache, bitchiness, maxi pads, leakage.. you name it, Diddy had experienced it. If you were to ask Diddy today, she would say that she was cursed by The Devil in a Red Dress.

Friggin City - Chpt. 2

Today we start our journey with Diddy and one of her little friends, Jalinda. Now Diddy use to love to go over to Jalinda's house. They had the coolest house, and it seemed like there were 15 kids in the family, but after counting, there were only 5. Seems odd,  anywhoseroonies...


Diddy and Jalinda use to get in all sorts of trouble. From teasing her little sister, Faylene, having sleep overs all the time, but Diddy didn't do well at sleepovers, seemed to like her own bed too much. She would make up all sorts of excuses and make her Dad come get her. They also enjoyed starting fires.. WHAT?! Yes, fires. They use to go up to girls camp, ever year, once we hit merry old age of 12. We got to camp, hunt for snipes, sing corny songs like..

MUSICAL SEQUENCE!

Down by the banks of the hanky panky,
Where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky,
With an ee, eye, ooh, ah,
Eases off the lily with a ker-plop

OK, that was.. uh.. weird.. Back to the story. Where was I, Girls camp.  Well Jalinda and Diddy use to like to dig holes up at camp and seemed to find all the toilet paper in camp and we found matches, in camp and 1+1+matches= FIRE!

But, this adventure takes place a few year back when Jalinda's Indian sister, Pita, lived there. Diddy use to have really long blonde hair, WHA! Blonde?! With a double take... yes, blonde, I hate my blonde hair now.. and honestly if I was to not dye it dark, I couldn't even tell you what my natural color is or was or should be.. oh, wait, I am not talking about me, I am talking about Diddy.. oops.

So, Pita has stuck a pony tail in Diddy's hair and she used on of those that had the balls on the end of them, yellow i believe. So when Diddy went to take it out, it was wrapped so tight and the balls weren't in the right place, so they kept getting in the way.. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! Well, instead of asking for help, because Diddy, for some odd reason, always thought that if she asked for help, she must have done something wrong and so by not asking for help, they won't know.

She grabs a pair of scissors and start cutting the ponytail out. Well after a snip here and snip there, it was out. She was no longer Chinese, eye were big and round again. But as she looked into the sink she went pale as a ghost. There was a huge chunk of hair attached to the ponytail holder. Now, if she could have, she would have said, "oh shit." But because she was only about 8 or 9 she had to hide the hair.

She grabbed the chunk of hair from the sink and decided to look around the house for a great hiding spot. Don't ask me why it didn't register to her that she should just throw it away. Seems simple enough, but Diddy was a complicated little girl.  So, after looking for what seemed like 3 minutes, she found the perfect spot. On top of the weird tape recorder that her Dad had. It was brown, had two tape reels and it was on a stand that had wheels. So she sets it down on top of that and pushes the cart under the counter. All the while thinking, I am sure no one is going to use this.. If I place this here, no one will EVER find out.

To Diddy's surprise,her mother, Dirty D, found it. Confronted Diddy and of course, Diddy lied. You will find out Diddy can lie with best of them. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID... Oh hell, that was totally inappropriate. Sorry.

So, once Dirty D convinced Diddy that she was the only one in the house with long blonde hair, Diddy admitted to what she had done. Now, if Diddy would have just asked for help or told her mom she cut her hair on accident she wouldn't have gotten in trouble for lying. Of course she was grounded.. as you will also find out.. Diddy spends 90% of her childhood grounded.

Stay tuned for Chpt. 3