Friggin City - Chpt. 3

Today, We start off Diddy's adventures in 6th grade. Diddy had the weirdest teacher ever, not sure if it was because it was his 1st year teaching or if it was just because he was a complete doofus.  But, all around, he was odd. He use to stick his pencil in his ear, then to his nose and then to his mouth. HONEST! Ask Diddy's brother, Grodey.

She loved to chase the boys at school, throw wet toilet paper at the ceiling, serve school lunch, Chinese jump rope, play on the tire swing, slam a little tether ball, run down the boys laboratory. Now, that last one was a big no no.  Us Wincoln Wions were quite the boundary testers.

In 6th grade you change and become more aware of the boys around you. Diddy had the crushes on most the boys in school, but decided she would go steady with a kid we will call Len.

Len and Diddy would walk home from school every day. They would talk and throw rocks, just stupid kid stuff. They never held hand or anything, I mean really she was too young. She was raised in a box, as you will find out down the road.

Towards the end of the school year, they held the maturation program. Diddy was very nervous. Neither her Mom or Dad could attend, so she went by herself. And let me tell you, just like the time she watched The FLY at her Aunties and found out where babies really come out of, her eyes went extra-ordinarily big and she was in complete shock. Panic seemed to set in as she slouched down in her chair. She looked around the room and made sure no one was watching her, she hated getting embarrassed. Diddy wasn't ready for this odd change. Bigger boobies, pimples, body odor, body hair and shaving... and the worst of all.. Mother Nature, REDRUM, riding the cotton pony, TOM (time of month) or AUNT FLO.

Why in the world, for the love of Pete and Mary, would anyone think that having a period was a good thing.  She is a woman now, she can have babies, all the while Diddy was thinking..WHO CARES, I am only 11.

Shortly, after that horrific and uncomfortable ordeal, Diddy was walking home with Len. They had only made it to the corner and the 1st words out of his mouth were as follow, "I have a penis and you have a vagina!" Diddy was so embarrassed. How could he possibly know that is what it was called or that she had one. She had no idea until today that their parts weren't called private parts or their potty. She ran home crying from humiliation. She never talked to Len again. Honestly, never. Until about two weeks ago when she saw him in Wally World. She, however, did tell someone the story of this dreadful day and they told Len a few months ago and I think he understand that Diddy, didn't hate him. She just meant what she said, She was never going to speak to him again. But, time goes on, and friends in grade school don't end being your friends in Jr. High and High School. That is probably more the reason.

A few months later she started her monthly visits from Aunt Flo. They were worse than she could have ever imagined. Cramping, achy, chills, throwing up, headache, bitchiness, maxi pads, leakage.. you name it, Diddy had experienced it. If you were to ask Diddy today, she would say that she was cursed by The Devil in a Red Dress.