Closet Gamer

So, I have decided to finally come out of the closet and grab my Xbox controller and plop on the couch.

I have been playing video games since I was a wee shitlin and now that I am a "grown-up" I still can't resist the temptations. Let's see where should I begin? Ahh...

It actually started with the Atari but, it all went down hill back in the 80's when my little brother, I call him Fatboy, although he is not even chubby, he is actually very fit, he rides a bicycle with his girlie friend, who also can put any ones womanly figure to shame and hopefully will be family soon, if my brother does what he is suppose to do!! *head shake* totally off track. OK, where was I? Nintendo, Right. So, I am sure fatboy got the Nintendo for one of his birthdays and that is when me, Fatboy and Bobo became gamers. Fatboy and Bobo, they are my little brothers.

Now, unlike my brother, who is the most amazing gamer, and my little one Zak, who is following right behind him, I tried my best to keep up. We would play Zelda, and find all the hidden things in the bushes and walls, Mega Man, Metriod, Excite Bike, Double Dragon, Castlevania, on this one you had to turn around and squat down and hope treasure came up. Fatboy always knew where that was and this was before Internet, you couldn't get online and look up cheat codes, you actually had to be smart enough to figure them out. Games like Contra, up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, a, b, select, start. I think... maybe it was b,a,start. Anyway, oh and who can forget the best ever MARIO BROTHERS, who my kids are going to be for Halloween this year.

Then, it was onto Sega Genisis, with Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Nintendo, Gameboy, Nintendo 64, Dreamcast, Playstation, Xbox, Gamecube, Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, PSP, Nintendo DSi.. WOW, all those. Good times.

Now, this is where I get in trouble. When I was married to Jeuc, you remember him from the past stories, my babies daddy. Who dat is? Oh, dats just my babies daddy.  It's actually a song that Tawanda and Raspusha listen to all the time. Which down the road, I will write about some of our Miss adventures.

OK, so this is where I would get in trouble. I would get online and play games like scrabble or something else, but there would be complete ass hats on there being all stupid and such, so I would talk smack. lol And  I guess he didn't appreciate my smack talking to complete strangers, but you know what they were stupid and deserved all the crap I threw at them.

Because of this poor behavior, he would hide my headset so I couldn't do it. But every time, I would find it. Like really? Try and hide something from me, I will find it. How? You ask. Cause I hide EVERYTHING!
I know all the good spots!

Well, now that I am the big "D" I can play all I want, but I don't have a headset anymore. Although, I plan on buying one. Can't wait to talk smack to complete idiots. It's one of my greatest talents. Really it is. Don't want to get all big headed, but I can talk smack with the best of them. Whats that? You wish you could too. You wonder how lucky I am to be born with such a great talent?  It's actually a curse, I never know when to stop. Its like a river of BS that flows out my mouth, into your ear and then SMACKS you in the face.

So, Zak is gone this weekend, and I plan on playing me some Harry Potter Lego game.  Maybe a little scrabble, against my sister and mom, Fable II or I will attempt Halo with Fatboy, who knows.

But I do know this.

I am an addict, a bloody gamer and I am not ashamed. I am proud to announce that I can waste time with the best of them. Callused thumbs and all. Can't wait till I can't move then anymore and I sue Nintendo for my horrible disability.

CHA-Ching!! That's the pay off.. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!